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Naughty London
SEXIEST AND NAUGHTIEST THINGS TO DO IN LONDON
As many of you will know, London is one of my favorite cities in the world. I lived there for a while and, although I love to indulge my natural wanderlust and travel to as many different places as possible, there are certain cities I always love to go back to, and London is definitely one of them. You might think that the UK is a little stiff and stuffy, compared to other places but, let me tell you, underneath that polite, regal exterior is one sexy, sultry and very naughty metropolis just waiting to add some spice and sin to your travels.
So here’s a list of some of the sexiest and naughtiest places to visit while you’re passing through the English capital.
SEXY RESTAURANTS
118 Piccadilly, Mayfair, London W1J 7NW
Tel. +44 207 0427118
You know you’re about to experience something special the moment you walk into this place. Right in the heart of central London, you’ll step from the bustling streets of Mayfair straight into a Peruvian dream of exquisite decor, stunning staff and a unique menu which uses ingredient combinations I guarantee you’ll never have tasted before: salmon and wasabi, quinoa with mint & pomegranate, and lobster with lemongrass, to name just a few. It’s difficult not to get turned on the moment you sit down in the lush velvet chairs and spend a few moments drinking in the baroque, high-end decor that has a certain ‘den of iniquity’ feel about it. Relax in the sumptuous lounge for aperitifs and digestifs, and don’t leave before you sample their awesom pisco menu (Peruvian brandy,) as well as one of 40 different tequilas and a myriad rums (you could be here a while.) There are several Coya restaurants at luxury destinations around the world (Dubai, Monte Carlo, Paris) but this one is the best. The Peruvian cuisine has a Japanese and Spanish slant, making for a sexy, sensuous dining experience. The menus change regularly, but seafood is the specialty. There’s also a great selection of vegetarian and gluten-free options, so there’s something to suit everyone. If you really want to splash out, join the Members’ Club and take advantage of the private dining facilities and personal butler service. You won’t be disappointed.
65 South Audley Street, Mayfair, London W1K 2QU
Tel. +44 207 4938988
They call their cuisine “liberated Chinese cooking,” so expect a culinary mix of tradition and history, with a dash of innovation and danger. Kai Mayfair holds one Michelin Star and it’s easy to see why - I’ve never seens such beautiful plates of Chinese food, so it’s difficult to dig in and start eating when you’re presented with something so exquisite (!) but, once tasted, you can’t wait to go back in again. There’s something conspiratorial about this restaurant, it’s the perfect place to come with a lover and have a cozy gossip, as you tease each other with chopsticks over delicious plates of chili lobster, or chai with a Chinese croissant. Many of the dishes have romantic names, too, such as Purple Charm Aubergines, and A Nest of Imperial Jewels (prawns, greens & lettuce.) It’s a happening place, with an ultra-modern interior of marble and wood in the main dining room, plus sultrier alcoves with beautiful Chinese artwork and low-lighting to add to the naughty mood. You don’t have to limit your visit to an evening, either - come at lunch for the special Chinese Whispers Afternoon Tea and enjoy a dazzling array of small dishes, gourmet sweets, delicious Chinese teas and quirky desserts, guaranteed to put you in a playful mood for the rest of the day.
LONDON'S SEXIEST BAR
Bishopsgate Churchyard, EC2M 3TJ
Tel. +44 203 7978130
byappointmentonly@victorianbathhouse.co.uk
The word ‘unique’ is used so often it can lose its meaning, but this place really is unique. From the outside, it’s a difficult place to miss; an ornate, church-like building that looks like it’s been transported from Moscow or Istanbul, surrounded by modern office glass blocks (and the famous ‘Gherkin’,) so it sticks out like a beacon when you turn the corner from Liverpool Street Station. But once inside, you’re led downstairs to a subterranean wonderland of baroqueness. Rich red drapes, golden decor, intricately-carved columns, it’s all so sumptuous and decadent… and exclusive. You can’t just walk in here, you have to pre-book, even for a cocktail, which makes it feel even naughtier. With lots of little rooms, private alcoves, comfortable booths and plenty of candlelight, you’ll be served the best champagne, the best aperitifs, the best hors d’oeuvres and the best sexy atmosphere almost anywhere in London.
SEXIEST HOTELS
24 Egerton Gardens, Knightsbridge, London SW3 2DB
Tel. +44207 5845533
reservations.thefranklin@starhotels.com
Everyone knows that one of the most fun things about traveling, for me, is when I find a hotel that has that air of ‘belle epoque;’ a certain erotic ambiance which adds a touch more sin and danger to my trip. The Franklin is just that kind of place, right in the heart of elegant Knightsbridge, just a few minutes’ walk from the famous Harrod’s. So if you want to live out your Audrey Hepburn fantasy and stay in a place fit for movie stars and princesses, this is that place. The theme is very ‘Gatsby;’ silver-grey velvet chaises, monochrome drapes and wallpaper, and chrome fixtures and fittings. Nothing less than a silk flapper dress will do for pre-dinner cocktails in the grand Franklin Bar, before enjoying one of the sexiest meals in town courtesy of Michelin-starred Italian chef, Alfredo Russo. And if the cachet of the restaurant doesn’t seduce you, then the bedrooms will. Even the most junior rooms have four poster beds; perfect for just lying in all day with that special someone. One of the most sensuous hotels in town.
‘Secret Location,’ High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire
Tel. +44 7968 082635
Possibly one of the most unique hotels in the whole of the UK, The Secret Dungeon is exactly what its name promises: a private space for up to 4 people to enjoy a night (or more) of Fifty Shades-style BDSM eroticism, or whatever else takes your fancy. There’s a large play space, a four poster, a pull-out for your additional guests, a kitchen, bathroom, even a heated patio area with a hot tub for some al fresco fun. Your privacy is guaranteed and you can even customize your experience - just tell your hosts if you have any special requests (specific sex toys/equipment, aphrodisiacs etc,) and they’ll make sure you’re accommodated. The exact location of The Secret Dungeon is precisely that, secret, until you make your booking, but it’s only one minute from High Wycombe train station, just 30 miles from London.
26-28 Whitfield Street, Fitzrovia, London W1T 2RJ
Tel. +44 2076310088
enquiries@crazybear-fitzrovia.co.uk
Set in the heart of upmarket Fitzrovia, it’s difficult to describe the Crazy Bear; you simply have to go there to ‘get it.’ It’s a popular haunt with a varied clientele - businessmen, ladies who lunch, bankers, even the odd tourist here and there. What I love about it is the atmosphere of decadence which oozes from the shadows and silhouettes in the downstairs bar. Once you’ve made your entrance by descending the fairy-light staircase, you can sit at the curved cocktail bar or secrete yourself in a cavernous red leather booth to people-watch and stalk your prey.
If you’re planning a full naughty night of seduction, head slightly out of town to Crazy Bear Beaconsfield, which has rooms, as well as two restaurants, a Thai massage parlour and a beautiful terrace with views of the spectacular Buckinghamshire countryside. Expect every sense to be indulged as you relax in this converted 15th century coaching inn. The black and gold decor will put you in instant naughty-mode, as will the huge brass bathtubs, ornate gold French beds, velvet cushioned ceilings and luxurious bedding. These rooms are designed for sin, so it would be a shame to disappoint! When in London...
BEST BURLESQUE
Victoria House, Bloomsbury Square, London WC1B 4DA
Tel. +44 207 2420002
Regularly voted one of the best cabaret clubs in town, this place goes all out to provide top-class entertainment for a discerning clientele. Their shows are themed (eg ‘Queen of Roses,’ ‘Gatsby,’ etc) so check the website to find out when they’re doing burlesque (the ‘Lio London’ show is spectacular.) You can choose from Silver, Gold or Diamond dinner packages, so there’s something to suit all budgets, but go all out for the Diamond to ensure you get the VIP treatment: 5 course meal, private booth, access to the cast, plus pre- and post- drinks in the beautiful Art Deco-inspired Rose Bar. I love coming here because I get everything in one place - cocktails, dinner, entertainment, ambiance, good company, and exclusivity.
City - No.1 Mark Lane, Billingsgate, London EC3R 7AH
Tel. +44 207 2831940
Embankment - 8 Victoria Embankment, London WC2R 2AB
Tel. +44 207 4823867
With two city venues to choose from, you’re guaranteed a raucous, high-octane night out at Proud Cabaret. The City club is decked out like a 1920s Speakeasy, the perfect backdrop for the various burlesque shows they hold here, including Tongue In Cheek and Drag Brunch. Brunch/dinner is included in your ticket (various packages available,) and expect some audience participation (with prizes!) The Embankment venue has a darker, sexier vibe, presenting anything from aerial acrobatics and sensual Latin dancers, to fire breathing. Their Burlesque Brunches also give you the chance to get up on stage and learn the burlesque basics.
King’s Head, 257 Kingsland Road, Shoreditch, London E2 8AS
Located in an old pub in East London, you’d easily walk past this on the street and not know it was even there. It’s a club over four floors which has shows only once a month, so booking is essential. There’s no food, either, but this is why I love this place - it’s so authentic and you can really imagine yourself back in the 1930s in rough London Town! Beautiful girls dance right in front of you, and you’re taken from floor to floor to enjoy different shows throughout the evening. This is very much an interactive format, with most guests standing up and mingling with one another as the performers work the room and make sure everybody gets a great view of the action. Expect lots of taxidermy, close proximity with your fellow guests, and even the odd live snake or two. Shows last a total of 3.5 hours with regular intervals, and make sure to dress up in your best London ‘Pearly’ suit!
SEX TOY STORE
23 Monmouth Street, Covent Garden, London WC2H 9DD
Tel. +44 207 8368882
Almost a byword for eroticism and sensuality, Coco De Mer is the height of luxury when it comes to lingerie and sex toys. Dita Von Teese has her own range of bodice-ripping underwear, and the store’s own-name velvet and latex lingerie collection are also bestsellers. For sex toys, all the dependable names are here - Lelo, Nexus, We-Vibe etc - but this being Coco de Mer, expect everything to have gold and silver knobs on… literally! Whether it’s a gold butt plug with Swarovski crystals, a Nell Precise Pleasure all wrapped up in a gilded golden cage, or a Georgiana G-spot vibe in a coffee-colored leather presentation box, Coco de Mer really pushes the boat out when it comes to premium sex toys.
SEX CLUBS
Secret locations, London (and around the world)
Created by uber-feminist Emma Sayle, Killing Kittens is an online private members’ club which organizes exclusive sex parties in upmarket properties in London, Sydney and New York. Join as a single Kitten or in a Kouple, and enjoy high-end, adventurous swinging and experimentation with like-minded guests. The monthly ‘Mansion’ event in London is a must-see; a masked ball-style soiree, one of the largest on the scene, and an event that people come from literally all over the world to attend. Sip on sumptuous cocktails, then either ease your way in or get straight down to it - up to you. There are enough rooms to fulfill any and every fantasy - multi-share four posters, BDSM, simple chaises, lots of floor space, and a great dungeon dance floor with DJ and darkness. Join the pre-party chat group to get an idea of the expected vibe and fellow guests, then you’ll get sent the exact address 24 hours before.
Secret location, London
Billing itself as ‘debauchery with discretion,’ Fever Parties encourage a mix of experienced and new faces at their regular soirees. They are friendly and seductive parties for single women and couples under 40 (no single men) and everyone is fully vetted via the online registration process. Emphasis is very much on good looks and a sense of adventure, so if you’re looking to explore your kinky side with an array of attractive potential partners, Fever is the perfect event for you. Expect a champagne reception, plenty of bed space, floor space and ambiant lighting, and a sultry vibe in which to indulge all your orgy, group sex and swinging predilections.
Secret London location
Specializing in intimate gatherings, Club Hermione holds its parties in luxury properties across London and the UK on the last Saturday of every month. Enjoy bottomless champagne in a safe, friendly environment and, as well as the main action, you’ll also benefit from sex workshops and classes, and maybe learn a few new tricks to add to your existing repertoire! There is a maximum of 15 couples and 6 singles at any one party, so you’re guaranteed to give and receive maximum attention. All music, food, drinks and extra entertainment is included and venues can range from mansions and penthouses to dungeon clubs and even private yachts.
Private residence, Mayfair, London
Designed by women for women, Skirt is a ladies-only members’ club to help professional, intelligent, curious women meet others just like them. Choose from a variety of packages, the ultimate being the ‘Enchantress,’ which gives you access to an exclusive room with private champagne server and a more relaxed atmosphere so you can indulge your own whims and wants in the company of other specially-vetted lionesses. Freedom of Expression is the buzz-word here, and it’s one of the most girl-friendly sex clubs in the world; a great place to explore and indulge your complete feminine side before unleashing it on the wider swinging scene.
FETISH CLUBS
Various venues, London
The world’s largest fetish and body art club event, Torture Garden holds events in London usually one Saturday a month at various venues including the famous Brixton Academy and Ministry of Sound. Truly an event for all ages, all kinks, all fashions and all flavors, Torture Garden is a menagerie of rubber, latex, piercings, make-up… and celebrity guests. Don’t be surprised to see Boy George, Dita von Teese or Jean Paul Gaultier rock up to one of these events, although most people like to attend in disguise as they enjoy burlesque, circus acts, drag shows and theme nights. You can even purchase your own Torture Garden Latex clothing if you really want to feel part of the gang here.
Various venues, London
Fetish club which usually holds events every three months, fetish wear is mandatory, so make sure your outfit is well-planned in advance! There are various styles of events, from dungeon parties and rubber cult events, to Mistress & Master play, and ladies-only Queen Bee socials. There are a number of regulars you’ll soon get to recognize and it’s all super-friendly, especially for newcomers. Check out one of the Queen Bee ladies’ events to get to know the crew, then branch out to one of the bigger parties to fully indulge your fetish fantasies.
Fire, South Lambeth Road, London SW8 1RT
Specializing in parties “for the dominant woman and all who worship her,” Club Pedestal is one of the more accessible fetish clubs, with tickets usually available on the door or pre-booked online. Inside there are clearly identifiable zones/rooms in which you can indulge every fetish imaginable underneath the club’s signature three arches. The club’s most famous feature are the House Slaves; subservient male attendees who are there to service your every need. Identified by their red collars and aprons, they’ll fetch your drinks, massage your feet, shine your shoes and even throw rose petals at your feet. Whatever you ask of them, they are there to serve! If you’re a submissive female, no problem, simply wear a collar (or purchase one at the door) and your submissive preference will be respected. Whatever you’re into, the only rule here is that women rule, so don’t come here if you’re a man looking to call the shots.
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